


War Guilt

by LieutenantLoot



Category: Borderlands
Genre: Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Spoilers, postbunker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 09:45:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6978292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LieutenantLoot/pseuds/LieutenantLoot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stumbling back to Sanctuary after visiting the bunker, the squad realizes they have to admit defeat for now. Maya worries she could have changed the consequences if only she was stronger. Axton gives his best soothing her by adding fuel to the fire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	War Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> I fell head over heels into this ship and am happy to go down with it. 
> 
> Unfortunately, this isn't beta'd, so... just don't hate me please.

Shit was on fire now.

The war was nasty before but it had just turned bloody personal.

 

When the vault hunter squad walked into Sanctuary, it seemed like Hyperion’s dictator couldn’t change the town they called home by now. There wasn’t anything really odd in the streets - except for them.  
Being blood spattered and covered in dirt as usual, they weren’t busy talking, comparing loot or bragging about the nicest headshots. They boiled in rage or mourned quietly.

 

Maybe the floating city could survive this war.

Today they had to learn that Roland couldn’t.

 

In a silent agreement, the group split up almost immediately.

While Zer0 simply disappeared to stray around lonesome, Sal, Krieg and Gaige headed for Moxxi’s bar. The night would probably end up as test on how much pain you could actually dull with alcohol. For being a scientific study, it didn’t even count as underage drinking.

The other hunters made their way back to the Crimson Raiders’ headquarters. Bloody vengeance was needed to be planned.

 

 

“Let’s call it a night, huh…? - Is there somethin’ for dinner?” Axton stretched his back when he pushed the HQ’s door open and earned nothing but dismissed looks.  
Mordecai and Brick went straight upstairs and started a slow paced conversation not bothering about the other vault hunters left. They both did not only lose the leader of the resistance and a mighty siren but close friends for years, they earned their time to mourn and planning on revenge.

The commando looked over to Maya who shot him a glance of disappointment and being worse than the ones he got when he missed an easy headshot of a phaselocked bandit.  
  
“… wha?” he snorted, confused what her concern might be. He tried to read the expression on her face but failed miserably. In these situations reading Eridian cryptic letters was easier than reading that woman. After a hard day’s battle that officially started the final phase of war he wasn’t exactly in the mood for her judging looks.

“Do you understand what have just happened out there?” she asked in a calm tone, arms crossed without a sign of struggling for control. “Roland is dead. He won’t come back. Lilith is gone. She’ll be tortured to death.”

 

 “Yeah, got that.” He mumbled. “And what should I do about that? It’s not my fault that –“  
  
“But it _is_ our fault! You don’t even bother!” Maya cried out. Anger and desperation leaked from her controlled surface.  
They both still stood in the hallway of the HQ’s, muffled noises above their heads. Besides that it was awkwardly quiet in there for normally being full of vault hunters, rebels and also Tannis.

 

“Don’t shit yourself. What should’ve we done?” he shrugged. No one had thought that the wannabe almighty Jack himself would appear in person and take over action. The leader of Hyperion was probably already broadcasting a dramatic radio show explaining that his shining gaze had stunned the hunters so he could take over.

After mourning his daughter of course.

 

Maya wandered a few steps, enlarging the distance between the two hunters.

“Anything would have been better than standing around and watch Roland die and Lilith being captured.”

 

“So why didn’t ya do anything?!” he asked gesturing towards her. She wasn’t the type to back off when being grunted at but right now, the dust in the back seemed to be more appealing than Axton’s dirt covered face. At least the wooden floor didn’t seem to deserve an answer either for silence making its way around.

 

 

The moment he responded, it was already too late to regret his own short temper. He knew where this was going and he was somewhere in between of not being able and not wanting to stop his assault. Indeed, it was a hell of a day that left its traces.

“You tried.” he guessed grinning. “And you failed. Not as strong as you think, huh?”

 

The siren shot him a sharp look. With that face, he expected clouds of acid to appear and somehow he was fond of having the door in his back. This wasn’t the first time he wondered if he could manage a one on one with that girl.

 

“Carrying on war and keeping your loved ones alive and on your side isn’t your best skill either, is it, commando?” Her voice made up for the missing sphere of acid. Maya crossed her arms in a triumphing manner, realizing she just had hit a sweet spot of her opponent.

 

Nobody came to Pandora just for fun to play in the blood and dirt but especially these two vault hunters were a bit picky about their history. The official explanation differed but both of them escaped their old lives, leaving oppression, authority and responsibility behind. But mostly it was weakness they fled from.

 

It was almost always the same with the siren and the command talking about their pasts - they both recognized the line between teasing and actually hurting each other. Beyond that border, things got nasty and unfair. That had not changed from the day they met until now.

 

“Ya tellin’ me that I’m bad at doin’ my job? At savin’ my friends?” the ex-sergeant grunted in disbelieves “So why didn’t you just lock that fucker? Or resisted Lilith’s phasing?!”

If they hadn’t crossed the line before, he was demolishing it now. It was on.

 “– Because ya simply too _weak_.”

 

The comparison to Lilith hit Maya like a sucker punch to the face. She squinted her eyes in anger.  
By now, she was almost easy to read: The disappointment and hurt in her expression was so obvious, even Zer0 would have felt it.  
Indeed, Lilith was the stronger siren. She had greater experience in combat and using her powers. She didn’t grow up being repressed by the abbey, she had more time to train and experience her true capabilities.

Maya took a sharp breath to spit out an answer. This was going to be a dirty evening, definitely not in the good way.

 

Before she had a chance for a counterattack, the door in Axton’s back suddenly flung open. Maya caught a short look of Tannis who was about to enter but the man pushed the door back into its frame violently like Brick would’ve slapped a good row of psychos. Just not as entertained.   
  
“We’re havin’ a conversation over here!” he shouted abusing the door and looked back to Maya, still waiting for her to respond.

 

As socially competent as a broomstick, Tannis pushed the door open, shoved Axton to the side and entered nevertheless. Axton trembled into the room towards Maya, reducing the safety distance. He tried to plant himself in front of her - no easy task for her being almost his height.

 

With that rather short gap between them, Maya’s eyes found back their firmness.

 

“You’re right. I’m not the goddess I was worshipped for.”  
  
The siren simply ignored the human obstacle in her way upstairs and left Axton without another word alone in the hallway.

 

“Is something wrong with her?” Tannis asked in his back. So almost alone it was. He wondered when she evolved from a broomstick to Crazy Earl regarding emotional understanding.  
“She smelled different.”

Nevermind.

 

 

 

Left with the scientist to his side, he stared at the spot where Maya used to stand only seconds ago. She just left him, ending the argument abruptly. Also quiet unsatisfying for the soldier. He had the feeling it wasn’t over yet.

The hunch of reminiscence crawled towards him and even though he tried to ignore it, he felt like back in the days when combat didn’t end at his front door. Again he was as helpless as his younger self, eventually running from his problems. From his girl. From weakness.

When he decided to leave everything behind and came to Pandora, he told himself this time it was different.  So far his plan worked out; he already gained back some respect - 5.000.000.000 bucks are 5.000.000.000 bucks, even if I was the merest head money of their squad. He found a new war and a bunch of friends worth fighting for.

Today, he primarily h decided to be a better leader than he was back in his military days. This had nothing to do with being a better husband or boyfriend of course.

 

When he finally moved towards the staircase, he caught himself being more nervous than he would’ve admitted.

  
“Now you do, too.” Tannis added.

 

“Oh shut it.” Axton gnarled and made his way up. He overheard her mumbling something about Roland being the nicer soldier but didn’t care to tell her that he was the only soldier by now. One upset woman was already more than he could handle in one evening.

 

 

 

On the second level of the torn apart house, he was able to understand the mumbled words between Brick and Mordecai. The sniper sounded drunk from frustration already and even Brick seemed depressed instead of furious. Axton listened for a moment just to make sure the two hunters were fine on their own. They already claimed for sweet revenge on that stapled face so he turned the other way looking for Maya.

 

He turned left and found her sitting on the ripped edges of the balcony they gained when Sanctuary rose to the sky. Despite being completely open it was still the HQs’ most private place.  
She didn’t bothered looking at him as he sat down right next to her, legs dangling over the streets. He tried to remember if they ever fell so quiet before, having nothing but silence between them, neither chitchat nor teasing or smallest hints of flirting.

 

“Whatcha ponderin’ ‘bout?” he started softly, trying to ignore the fact that they screamed at each other only a moment ago. The siren usually was a very calm person on the outside but now he was worried for her apathetic stare.

“You did well in there today, Maya. You gave everything you had.”

 

“Apparently that’s not enough.” She finally responded lowly. “If I could have locked him or resisted the phasing, he might be already dead.”

She paused for a moment.

Axton tried desperately to find words to tell her that she was strong enough and that he was so thankful to have her fighting alongsight. That he even felt simply save with her in his back. 

 

“Lilith or Angel could have done better.” She almost chuckled before he was able to think of something not too emotional overwhelming. He cringed a little in regret as he noticed that he had compared Maya to Lilith himself before. It was simply not fair. If he was on anabolic drugs, speed and cocaine all at the same time for weeks straight, the commando would be phasewalking too – maybe a little different than Lilith usually did.

 

“Back in the abbey it was easier, you know… I was the most powerful of all of them. Even though I was constrained, the monks feared my powers.” She looked into the clouds in the edge of the city while Axton only had eyes for her. Maybe the thin air was the causing for his difficulties.

“I left them as a fierce goddess and stranded here with nothing.”

 

The siren smiled down to her feet. On a few occasions the whole squad had talked about their pasts and how they landed on Pandora roughly but most of the stories were told comedically or completely drunk. There was no need and no room for deep thoughts.

Axton didn’t know how to handle her first emotional opening. He was said to be a ladies’ man but he certainly was a complete fail when it came to soothing them.

 

“Sometimes I wonder if I will ever grow out of this state of vexation.” She mumbled.

He noticed the urge to pull her into a hug was growing faster than he would’ve liked to admit. When she finally shifted and gave him a smile, he was sure he felt his heart breaking.

 

“I never would have thought you’d be a good listener.” She remarked with a heartbreaking small smile.

 

He knew it was time to say something to encourage her. He had a few fragmental thoughts before but he expressed himself as precise and graceful as Krieg usually did in battlefield when he tried to comfort someone.

So he did what he was best at - talking about himself.

 

“You think of yourself as a useless siren, hm?”

With the comprehension the smile was gone as fast as it came up. He leaned back and took his turn to look at the wandering clouds above the city himself. He wondered if he as a blunt human being was able to make Maya cry and if he would survive an incident like that.

 

“Back in the days on Hieronymous I was a sergeant at Dahl for about ten years. I learned a lot but some things I had to learn the hard way, ya know…” he grinned and shot her a glance. She frowned in confusion as he swung an arm around her shoulders and took a deep breath.

“I’m terrible at organizing; I can’t even handle my inventory. I lost count of how many men I have lost because of my incompetence of structured campaigns. I can’t stand authorities – however I joined military and married my commanding officer. I frequently try to lead a vault hunter squad of lone fighters that doesn’t need a leader. I’m probably the most inappropriate commando you will ever meet.” He listed and couldn’t hide an honest smile.

“So tell me now – are you that bad of a siren?”

 

When she looked in his eyes, trying to guess if he was messing with her, he noticed how close he eventually got. His arm around her twitched in realization. Maybe she didn’t bother; it was a simple touch, plain body contact.  
However, the light of the setting sun must have hit them in a cracked up way because she was definitely not blushing.

 

“Yeah, that just makes us both failures.” she stated with eyes big and finally smiling.

 

“That’s exactly why we’re such a good team!” Axton exhaled in relief. She rolled her eyes on that but didn’t disagree; most likely because indeed, together they worked pretty deadly on the battlefield.  
He thought back of a drunken night at Moxxi’s, when Sal had referred to the two of them as a tactic wrestling duo - leading himself into a headlock as a proof. Seemed he was right.  
  
Again, silence fell between the two of them, more peaceful than before.  
For a short moment, it was possible to forget that a war was going on and that they had to admit defeat for now.  
And for a very short moment, it was even possible to ignore that his comment was about combat and not about their relationship.

 

It was just too tempting to get used to this thought, to having her so close. In order to restrain that strangely known feeling of belonging right there next to her, he lifted his arm from her shoulders. Apart from doubting that she would even want a closer bonding to him, he wondered if he would survive an actual relationship with that siren. If war wouldn’t kill him, she would make sure he was dead by 40.

After a few moments passed, Maya’s eyes found his again and the silent gaze turned slightly awkward.  
  
“Do you mind –“ She started to mumble, eyes shifting to the side.

 

“Leavin’? Nah, was about to go anyway, so –“  he rambled covering up the embarrassment. A warm hand found his and he hushed.  
  
“Staying a little longer?” she finished and gave him an insecure look. Before he could answer properly instead of smiling widely, she pulled his arm back in its place around her shoulders.

Maybe she moved even a little bit closer and snuggled into him.

Axton sighed and told himself that he would try to push these hints of feelings away tomorrow.

But for this night, he didn’t give a shit if he’d ever turn 40.


End file.
